Being a modern Indian woman
It was a sunny morning, as the bell rang, everyone collected for the prayer and with closed eyes, folded hands, and Sanskrit shlokes filled the air with utmost devotion, respect and sincerity for the Goddess of education, Saraswati Devi.
It was a well disciplined rows of girls clad in blue shirt (kurta), white salwar and a dupatta to cover their chest. (If the dupatta was not drapped wide enough to cover your chest, you were sure to get punished). The morning prayer was followed by the speech of an elegant Rajput lady with her head clad with the sari paloo.The words were inspiring to all girls students, promoting them to make strides in all walks of life and learning the lessons with sincerity, but somewhere the hidden message was, you belong to a class that is going to be a wife, a mother in future, so protect the legacy of being a women.
You should raise your voice but not so loud that your neighbor can hear you (have to be polite always), you should wear good clothes but not so that your legs are uncovered, you can aspire to become Doctor, Engineer, CA but your ultimate job is being a home maker.
It was all girls’ school where you were taught not to go out alone, keep your voice low, be decent, obey your parents and always keep patience and ready for any sacrifice.
After routine dress check up, the girls walked into their classes, with a little hustle bustle, everything got settled with a pin drop silence as the History teacher stepped in. The story of brave warrior Laxmi bai was narrated in a such a perfection as we all were having a sword in our hand and riding a horse, with such a valour to defeat the enemy.
Anyways the class ended and we started little chatting, when one of my close friend was secretly showing some photographs to another friend of mine. The eyes were wide open with surprise, I couldn’t resist myself and also enquired about it, sooner the picture also reached me passing beneath the table.
I was bit surprised to see my friend in a new avatar, she was clad in red and yellow bandhej sari, looking very beautiful but her act surprised me. This was the photo of her ring ceremony, where a handsome boy stood near her and she was exchanging rings with him. Soon my friend was getting married, she was not even 18 years.
But the tradition of getting a girl married very soon is rampart in all parts of India. Soon she got married and got into motherhood .She was lucky enough that no health problems cropped up in her life. But there are many cases where during pregnancy or during child birth, the women does not survive due to poor health condition, poor medical facilities and infrastructure. She was very intelligent, talented girl who if continued her education could have learnt many laurels for our country. But this is not a single story of a girl child in India, the situation is more worse in rural India. Even today on a day of Akshay tritiya, many minor boys and girls in rural areas are forced to tie the nuptial knot, even when they are unaware of what they are going through. It’s just an act of wearning new clothes, having sweets and going through a religious ceremony for them. This leads to further problems in society.
In India, be it urban India or rural india, girl child is always taught to be a good homemaker that is her ultimate responsibility and career. Her professional career can be and has to be sacrificed for the sake of family, kids and above all husband, who is Parmeshwar for her. (Her personal God, whom she has to worship, and keep him happy at any cost).
The major challenges that Indian women face are not visible at a glance, women have hold high, prestigious political post of Prime Minister, President, Speaker, governors, IAS,IPS, Business and Corporate Women, but what about those millions of women who are confined to the four walls of their house.
The major problems can be jotted down under some Challenges as:
· Gender Discrimination
· Female Feoticide
· Poor Health
· Low Literacy
· Financial dependence
· Dowry
· Crime against women
In India, girl child faces discrimination even before she is born. The practice of sex determination for the desire of having a male child plunges her to go to check the sex of the child, illegally practicing it. There are laws in India but the bravery lies in breaking them. This practice forces her to go only for male child and the result is the Census of 2011, which shows the child sex ratio as 914 per 1000 which is lowest since independence.
The problems and challenges faced by Indian women are subject to her being a women, She is a woman so she has to drop her school ,participate in household chores and the parents have to use their hard earned lifelong saving for her marriage.This discrimination which starts in the womb, continues lifelong for her. Although the constitution of India provides equal rights and opportunities to women. But the problems that we have inherited from centuries are still haunting the social structure of our life.
Preference for a male child starts this discrimination even before a child is born. The daughter is always considered a burden on a family and that one day she has to leave the house after marriage. The only responsibility of a girl’s parents is to get her married. The son is the one who will stay with them and look after them in the old age. This dichotomy leads to differences in the upbringing of the girl child and she is neglected in every spheres.
In the present scenario in metros like Delhi, Mumbai who are adapting to western culture, many changes are taking place, girls are holding positions in every walk of life, She is an Entrepreneur, she is a corporate professional, she is a journalist, she is a teacher, a doctor, a politician, a bureaucrat and so on. Here we talk about giving equal opportunities to women in all spheres, but I think women are far more superior to men. “Women are the most untapped resource in the world.”
She has the caliber to be the epitome of sacrifice, patience and hard work. Women are designed to be emotional, creative, soulful and nurturing. This superhuman when neglected succumbs to the poor condition she is forced to live in. The untapped potential of women is lost due to inadequate health services, illiteracy, negligence of education, high dropout rates due to social pressure. This may me in the form of financial constraints, burden of household chores and also as women work in farms and also as labors in fields.
The male centric society never leaves an opportunity to use and misuse the feminine power. In India women have to face more challenges than anywhere else. The social structures are harder and the expectations are high. We donot have support structure in our society, there is a general acceptance that women has to be the primary caregiver in the family.
Women’s economic dependency on man is a fundamental phenomenon in Indian society. The division of labor in family gives primary responsibility to women to take care of kids and the family work while the major chunk of income has to be earned by the male. Although gender relations have changed in society but that is something on the surface, the fact that lies beneath is that despite changes in women’s income, man is the bread winner of the family and women is the homemaker. Time and again many incidents occur when marriage proves to be a social institution of female dependence, be it financial or social security.
In India women are not allowed to work after marriage and even if they go for work they have to compromise on issues of time, distance and salary so that their marital life is not disturbed. Later on they have no choice except to become stay at home Moms. Women have to compromise on their career aspirations and left with no opportunity and have to sacrifice their aspirations. They are left nowhere but only on the mercy of their husband and in laws. She is always dependent on the men in the family her husband for all her financial chores. Women are not even informed about the investment being made by their spouse, whether they are nominee in any financial investment, where the important documents are kept, this is very rampant in cases of non working women. In case of working women also they have to earn money and transfer it to their husbands account because he can multiply it with his financial nerves.
Another serious issue that is the main reason why Indian society feels sorry on the birth of a girl child is DOWRY. You have to take care of the girl child, educate her, give her the best value system and the day she is married she has to carry gifts in all forms whether financial or physical for her new home and family. It can be in the form of lavish marriage arrangements or other resources which she needs to begin her new life.
If her parents are unable to fulfill all these demands, she has to suffer whole life for not bringing enough money or car or a house for her husband and family. This begins the hell of her life where she is tortured mentally and humiliated at every step of her life. Why don’t the people understand that when a daughter is married, parents not only give their daughter, she is their pride, their hard earned relationship which they have cared and nurtured even before she was born, have given unconditional love to their daughter, they have given their sleepless nights when she was ill, waited outside the examination centre for her exams without caring for the heat and dust. They have given their heart and soul and how their dreams are shattered when their daughter is not happy in her new life after marriage. Her parents are abused and she has nowhere to go, she is at the mercy of her husband whom she has to live with till her last breath as there is going back. The social stigma of being a divorcee will bring a deadly stroke to her parents life and she has to suffer all kinds of humiliation and disrespect. And the height of all the stress is reflected that whenever a girl or her husband are in any kind of financial stress, it’s the girl’s parents who have to come forward and release them because whatever they are doing it; s for their daughter’s happiness.
Any major challenge that a Modern Indian women faces is crime and violence. It has many evil faces as rape, sexual harassment, eve teasing,honour killing, molestation, kidnapping, forced prostitution, gang rapes, murder and that too are taking fierce forms that in a recent case in Budaun Rape and murder case , UN intervened.The case when a 23 year girl was raped by 6 people in moving bus in The national Capitol was of Delhi, shocked everyone and forced the people to come out and stage demonstrations and candle march in the whole country. But has the crime rate dropped, still there are cases of rapes, minor rapes, gang rapes, everyday in the newspaper we find such horrifying stories, girls are not free and safe anywhere. Even if they go out to play we have to keep a vigil on them,have to be alert always, there are evil eyes everywhere. They are not safe in schools, in playground, in parks, in neighborhood. A female is always considered a piece of flesh and is used and misused in the same manner. There are many laws and regulations in our country, but the trial and judgment process is very slow and above all there are many escape routes available. The punishment of the culprit depends on the bravery of the victim, if she is brave enough to come forward and address the issue then the culprit may get punishment otherwise he is scot-free.
We have to come out from the age old mindset of barbaric age and give due respect and a scare free life to a girl in our society. She is not a burden, she is not secondary to man in any aspect, women today have climbed the top cliffs in the world, she is flying the fighter Jet, she is going to space, she is the mother of all scientific research and experiments, she is running the economy and above all remember she is the one who gives birth to MAN. Women themselves have to become stronger, self confident and break those social barriers that area hurdle in herself respect and dignity.
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